"Prosecutors Get First Shot at Lay" Too easy. Waaaaaaaaaaaaay too easy... "Microsoft to Buy Chinese Hardware" This is news? Isn't it all Chinese hardware? "Songbirds May Be Able to Learn Grammar" We can't teach grammar to kids graduating from high school, so we're going to try birds? Those teacher unions can get away with anything. "NYC Firefighter Begins Sentence in Brawl" Is that a regional dialect of braille? "Dog burns down owner's kitchen" "Since when does a medium-rare steak come in a bag marked 'Purina'?!?!?!?!?" "Police Arrest Nude Man Stuck in Chimney" It's a real shame the lengths some guys will go in some misguided quest for hot sex. "'Deep Throat' Saw Himself As 'Lone Ranger'" So who's Tonto, Woodward or Bernstein?