Being an adult means you can start The Princess Bride at 10pm on a Friday night if you want.


I’m somewhere between a third and halfway through Rob Kroese’s “A Grift Too Far,” and if this thing wasn’t already off the rails in the first 20 pages, it most certainly is now. šŸ“ššŸ¤£


Clearly the people complaining social media is toxic and awful are not following the right people online. Because I am crying from laughter from my Instagram feed today.

People are hilarious.


The Meta Quest commercial with the soon-to-be dad assembling the crib is sweet, but WHY IS HE NOT DOING IT IN THE NURSERY?

YOU THINK IT’S FITTING DOWN THAT TINY HALLWAY??


Iā€™m living in Office Space.


I really appreciate the dad-nerd humor in the AutoZone commercial about the slow-starting car:

“It just needs a charge. Don’t worry, it’s free.”

“Are you sure it’s free?”

“Positive.”


<Ponders how to get one of these, the perfect job for himself>

Loud? āœ…
American? āœ…
Would love to tell people how stupid they are? āœ…āœ…āœ…āœ…āœ…āœ…āœ…āœ…āœ…āœ…


According to my college hockey player’s online reading, Golden Knights captain Mark Stone was injured in the handshake line following the conclusion of Game 7, and will be unavailable until the next postseason. #IYKYK


“One does not simply fly in to Mordor.” babylonbee.com/news/in-9…


Sly not making enough in royalties off the Rockys, the Rambos, the Creeds, and everything else, that he has to do a reality show with his family?


Okay, this is funny.


A public service announcement


Don’t send me political texts I didn’t ask for.


You know a cold is kicking your butt when you are talking to your 12 year-old and he asks, “Dad, why are you talking like that?”


Who else had one?


When parody accurately describes reality. babylonbee.com/news/new-…


Because my sister knows they’re my jam, she sends me this.


Oh look, it me.


The struggle is real. babylonbee.com/news/woma…


‘A.I. Will Be Totally Great For Humanity,’ Says Man Who Has Never Read A Sci-Fi Novel babylonbee.com/news/ai-w…