fun
I like the way Jon thinks
Just ask Jon who tonight put a rubber tarantula underneath the bag of ravioli I was about to dump into a pot of boiling water. I BOUGHT THE TARANTULA, for crying out loud, last year, in hopes of frightening Jon, the unfrightable fucker who has more than once stuck his head over the shower curtain when I am mid-shampoo to purposefully convince me that a serial killer has entered the house and stumbled upon my bathing experience with glee.
CBS, Race the Blogger Twins!
Damien and his brother Cameron are attempting to get on The Amazing Race. They have a noble purpose for this endeavor, having nothing to do with fame as "reality" tv stars. We'll be rooting for you guys from the phisch bowl! [Via Consolation Champs.]
Ballpark tours
If you're a huge baseball fan (Tom) with some time to kill, FranX points us to BallparkTour.com and Ballparks of Baseball. I'm sure it's due to being in my hometown, but the only sporting venue I like more than the Ballpark in Arlington (I refuse to dignify it by its corporate name) is Tiger Stadium. And I'm not talking about the one in Detroit.
Positively annoying
I have a new reason to develop a more positive attitude.
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." -- Herm Albright, author, quoted in the St. Paul Pioneer Press
Good advice
Don't mess with Texas. Now you can buy gear and support the anti-litter campaign with the awesome slogan.
He made a guy cry?
Nick Saban, former head coach of the national champion LSU Tigers football team, has a reputation of being a tough coach. He's tough on his players during practice, and especially during a game. This was one reason he was highly sought after by the Miami Dolphins. So what does he do during the first training camp with the team? Why, he makes a rookie defensive tackle cry, of course. I shall refrain from comments regarding the DT being from USC...
Which diet Coke is which Diet Coke
Merlin’s del.icio.us page points to this explanation by Leslie on the different make-ups of the different diet sodas now available from Coca-Cola.
For the record, I've tried them all, and my own personal taste test results are as follows:
Diet Coke - I knew there was a reason I never liked "New Coke," and having a non-sugar version only made that worse
Diet Coke with Splenda - new "New Coke"; better than the original, but still not something I'd pick up
Coke Zero - nice try, and it would be a toss-up between it and the Diet with Splenda
C2 - as close as you can get to the authentic Coke with a diet version; if I can't have, or would rather not have, the Real Thing™, this is what I drink
Though I have been rather successful at keeping soda of any kind to a minimum in my diet. Which means if I'm going to have one, I may as well have the original, non-diet version.
Betting on Thomas
Yes, parents, that Thomas. It went something like this: Mrs. Phisch: "Who are the blue engines? Thomas, Henry, and Edward?" Me: "No, Gordon's blue. Henry's green." Her: "Are you sure?" Me: "Yes." Her: "No he's not! You're thinking of Henry!" Me: "No, I'm thinking of Gordon. He's blue. He pulls the express." Her: "Come back this up!" She refers to the godsend of modern television, TiVo, upon which many an episode of Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends has been preserved for the little phisch. She currently has the little phisch in her lap, together in one of the easy chairs, and the remote is across the room. Me: "I'll back it up, but you're wrong. Gordon's blue." Her: "Want to bet?" Me: "Sure. What's the bet?" Her: "The loser has to drive to get ice cream." She refers to soft-serve sundaes from Carvel. We pinkie-shake to affirm the bet. I back up the episode in question to the spot she ordains as telling us which engine the one I say Gordon is. I await my hot-caramel sundae after the tyke goes to bed. Update, 8:45 PM CST: A sly one, that Mrs. Phisch. To bathe the little phisch, she changes in to pajamas and sweats. She then uses this as an excuse to not go get ice cream. She barters a trade that I make the ice cream run, while she cleans up the tyke's bathroom, traditionally my post-bath duty. I retain full bet-winning gloat authority. And I do want a hot-caramel sundae...
You And Me
The womenfolk certainly have a way of making us insane--in a good way--don't they, fellas?
"You and Me" - Lifehouse
What day is it, and in what month
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up, and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
Something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right
Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
You and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
--written by Jason Wade and Jude Cole
Published by G-Chills/Songs of DreamWorks (BMI) and Jude Cole Music/Warner Chappell Music (BMI)
© Copyright 2005 Geffen Records
Jeff is bored
People from time zones west of here should iChat me immediately. Especially if they’re twentysomething women who like to tell weirdo Internet writers how great they are all the time.
Middle-aged men pretending to be twentysomething women are okay too, as long as it’s convincing. You let it slip just once that you’re actually a forty-seven year old tire salesman who’s sitting in his enormous store-brand boxers with a Gateway on his lap, and the whole fucking thing is just ruined. At least I can go to sleep tonight with something truly funny rolling around in my head. Come on, people, tip the man.
Shreddin'
ATPM staffers lead glamourous lives, let me tell you. When we're not unemployed (moi), running our own businesses (Michael and Evan), or working for others (Lee, Ellyn, and practically everyone else), you might find one of us interning for a popular magazine. I thought Wes had hit the big-time when he got to wander around Manhattan, challenging perfect strangers to lightsaber duels. Now, in the August 2005 issue of PM (not yet online), Mr. Meltzer's in print, taking part in the "Shred Reckoning" personal shredder comparison. For the record, that is not Wes's photo used in the test document.
Punny stock
Overheard on the Dow Jones Stock Report, on WRR, just a few moments ago:
"Maidenform is getting some firm support from investors..."
No Danny Boy
In an ADD moment late last night, I was flipping channels, and came across The Great White Hype. Having seen it on HBO or one of the other movie channels some time ago, I left it on, especially since my favorite part was coming up: when Brian Setzer does "Oh, Danny Boy." I won't bore you with details, but I really like Setzer's version of the song. Unfortunately, it is not available:
q) Is Brian's version of the song "Oh, Danny Boy" that appeared in the film "Great White Hype" available on CD?
a) No, it is not. The track is in the Surfdog Records vault, but does not appear on the film's soundtrack or any other released CD. There are no plans at this time to release it.
Channeling the Bear
Every time Jack Nicklaus plays a tournament for the last time, Tiger wins the event.
Real-life zombie attack
This has to be the funniest thing I've read all day. Update, 7/14: What do zombies do after a hard day of causing panic? They go to McDonald's, of course. This photoset has had me in stitches.
