Thank God. Doug Giles:

Now, for all you Backstreet Boys who are wondering if, if, you are one of these metrosexual males from whom women, men and small animals are running, I’ve concocted a little test to help you shed your proclivities toward abnormality and begin to saddle up and ride in a more masculine direction. Are you ready? If you start to hyper-ventilate, just take a break and control your breathing. Here we go. Now did you think I was going to ruin it by posting Doug's test? That's why the article is hyper-linked, for crying out loud. Go. Click. Read. Laugh.